


Seaside Steakout

by DigiConjurer



Series: The unsorted adventures of Princess Byleth and the Black Eagles [64]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Beach chapter, Bikinis, F/F, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route, M/M, Multi, Paralogue, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Relaxation?, Spoilers for Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Swimsuits, chapter 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26904136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigiConjurer/pseuds/DigiConjurer
Summary: Flayn ropes the Eagles into helping her find fa- brother. Thankfully, we're on the one stretch of beach owned by the Varley's.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/My Unit | Byleth, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: The unsorted adventures of Princess Byleth and the Black Eagles [64]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1463725





	1. Jumping on the opportunity

I don't own Fire Emblem.

* * *

To say that Byleth was ready for the day ahead would be an absolute, brazen bold-faced lie. With absolutely nothing in the way of leads or places to check out, the search for Manuela had grinded to a halt. It's only been one day. You need to give it some time. Leads just don't appear out of nowhere. They take time to be discovered and deciphered. Contrary to what all the movies show. If it were really that easy, would you think we have shows talking about cases that are a couple decades old? Even shows that are more realistic at least try to imply that some time has in fact passed between scenes.

"Time to get up." the professor muttered and slid out of bed. Grabbing her armor, she headed for the bathroom. Or would've, if she hadn't caught a glimpse of a large green hair 'drill' outside her door. They could've at least waited at the front 'door' till you're ready. Like I don't know, a normal person would. I'm asking too much, aren't I? Just making sure. "Can I help you?"

The 'drill' nodded and Flayn made her entrance into the master bedroom. Compared to Byleth, she was actually dressed. Just in the usual dark black school uniform Gareg Mach provided for all of its students. I would least think she would try and accessorize it a tiny bit. Make it her own and stuff. But no, that’s a bridge too far.

"I have a lead, Professor!” Flayn shouted, shaking her fists in the air as she jumped up and down. Okay. Not entirely sure if you should be that excited about telling her about this. Yes, it could totally be the location of Mamuela. But what if it is not? Then what? You've gotten the hopes of everyone up just to shatter them mere seconds later. That's only something awful people do for kicks. Flayn doesn't seem like an awful person, who can really say. Perhaps she has all sorts of dead bodies hidden throughout the campus, waiting to be discovered? Or perhaps she's like me and unable to age any further. Maybe one of those nicer secrets. Though, why would you hide something like that in the first place. It makes no sense. Can’t be any of that. Which doesn’t leave us with much to go off of.

“Let me hear it then.” Byleth explained and watched her guest stop jumping up and down. Taking a deep breath, she sat herself down on the bed and began munching down on some goldfish crackers. Okay. Guess there’s a future in laundry ahead for Byleth. Among many other things she definitely needs to do. Beyond the point.

“I heard my fa- brother said some rude things about Manuela and then ran off.” Flayn announced and got a look from our professor. Just because he said some rude things doesn’t make him part of the kidnapping. If anything, Seteth probably had a good reason for going off somewhere. This whole academy is absolutely crazy with little in the way of stopping this mess. I too would love a vacation. But that doesn’t look to be coming anytime soon. Probably more in Byleth’s case.

“And you believe that he has something to do with the kidnapping?” Byleth continued and got a nod from her subject. “How do I not know you’re using me to get the drop on my brother?”

Judging by the confused look she was getting currently, that doesn’t look to be the case. I think. Always be careful around around the dumb ones. Just when you at least expect it, they’ll do something smart and throw you off completely. Sort of like you, Mozu. I’m telling the truth. I actually expected me to be the one proposing to you, not the other way around. A welcome surpri- Uh… thanks for the hug.

"He's at the beach." Flayn continued, legs bouncing up and down against the bed. Yep. Definitely a lot of laundry in Byleth’s future. Or not. But I can't imagine that sleeping on a dirty bed is really hygienic in the slightest. "Would you like to join me in staking him out?"

Before Byleth could open her mouth, two handy dandy boxes appeared. Crud. This is just like the foundry mess. I wonder who's going to inadvertently suffer because of this?

[Give me some time to gather my students]

[Maybe some other time, okay?]

The professor looked over both options. While a lead, could Flayn's account even be trusted? Even if she did turn out for some reason to be 'correct', would they get any closer to finding Manuela? Or would this be another dead end just to keep them guessing on where in the heck the songstress was? So many questions without anything in the way of an answer. Outside of 'find out for yourself'.

"Professor?"

Looking towards the doorway, Bernadetta approached. No sign of Edelgard or anyone else this time around. Even after what I assume to be a late night phone call from Wifey. If I do have a complaint, at least knock before barging into the home's of people without doors. If in doubt, knock on the doorframe. That usually gets a response from the owner and/or whoever else might be inside. But only do it once. Any more and someone will think you're a vampire or something dumb. What? It's happened to me tons of times. Not so much after joining Corin's army.

"Yes, Bernadetta?" Byleth remarked, watching the countess enter her room and sit on the bed. Definitely don't tell Dorothea about this. 

"My 'mom' offered to let me and everyone else use the family's beachside manor for some reason." Bernadetta explained and got a look from Byleth. To be fair,just talking about this is it’s own can of worms and a half. One that Flayn most definitely knows nothing about. Hopefully. Would be kind of hilarious and scary if she did. That's beyond the point. 

"As luck would have it, I was about to deploy everyone on a beach mission." Byleth answered, Bernadetta’s gaze shifting to the floating boxes. Doesn’t even faze her in the slightest. Just a regular day at Gareg Mach. "Do you or Edelgard have anything planned today?"

Bernadetta shook her head. 

"Not that I've heard." she answered and made a quick glance at her phone. Then it’s right back to the professor. Her hand already over the upper button, there’s isn’t really time to actually stop her. The world began to swirl around, the colors beginning to fade.


	2. The fanservice chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka, the chapter with people hopefully in bikinis. That is totally, 120% true. No lies at all.

I don't own fire emblem.

* * *

On the other side, our heroes found themselves on a beach. Blue skies hang overhead, without a cloud in sight. Okay. Not completely sure where all the other people went. These places are usually swarming. What could keep them away?

“Uh… sorry about this, everyone.” Byleth explained as she stood up, dusting herself off in the process. Uh… I’m fairly certain that she was in her pajamas before this. Not, this dark blue bathing suit of sorts. What looks like flip-flops cover her feet. So at least she's covered in the feet. Definitely a far cry from Dorothea’s bikini and sandal heels. Like seriously, does that even count as a bikini? The top alone only covers part of her breasts. The bottom at least looks alri- What’s a thong? Mozu, this isn't funny! This is a legitimate question I'm asking here. Oh. So that's what Charlotte was bitching about the other day. Good to know. No way that Flora would let her get away with that. Well, at least not without using this as a perfect photo opportunity.

“Is this the first time you’ve been to the beach?” Dorothea remarked and watched her girlfriend’s cheeks glow pink. Try as she might to look away, her gaze found its way back onto the opera singer. Even more as she grabbed hold of her hand. “You do look nice though. Maybe we can come here again. Alone, perhaps?"

Byleth’s cheeks grew even pinker. A sight visible to the entire class no matter how much she tried to hide it. Guess an after-battle beach party is in order. Just a regular beach party. But at night or something dumb. Not really a beach person.

Starting off with Bernadetta, she appears to be dressed similar to Byleth. Unlike the professor though, her’s is a nice shade of purple with red polka-dots. Not entirely sure if it actually works. Maybe if the colors were reversed? Yeah. That sounds better already. Hopefully that was just poofed into existence and not, taken from her deceased mother’s collection. Though, would Bernadetta even know the difference? You know what, it’s probably better to not think about it.

As for her girlfriend, she had decided not to have any part of this tomfoolery. Not one bit. As queen of the Adrestian Empire, that’s perfectly understandable. But that doesn’t explain why she has an inner tube around her waist. Make up your mind, Edelgard. It’s one thing to not want to get into the water, it’s another entirely to welcome it with open a- What, Mozu. That was one time. One time. Every other time I was okay with going down that massive slide with you. How the heck is one supposed to know when their top is going to break? At least we were able to actually get away before too many people noticed and started laughing at me. But that’s in the past. Let’s see now, all the boys are dressed in swim trunks. The least they could do is change it up with a pattern, but no. That’s asking too much out of them. Not that those are bad colors they’ve picked, just boring. At least the girls are doing a bit better 

“So what are we doing here?” Caspar announced, taking the time to pick up his axe off the ground. Except he then decided to just try hanging it. I do hope he realizes there’s nothing to hang it on in the first place? Though, I do hope everyone else remembers to grab their weapon. Don't need anyone leaving their junk here, never to be found again.

“Supposedly, Seteth might know something about Manuela’s disappearance.” Byleth continued and focused on Flayn. Much like our professor and Bernadetta, she too has gone with a bathing suit. Unlike theirs, I don't think I recognize the material used. Huh. I didn't think that was actually possible. The green color used is nice. But I'm not completely sure if it will hold up in the water or just disintegrate. Let's not find out. "Though, where is he?"

Before that question could be answered, a truck rolled up at the far end of the beach. I would say that's Anna, but it isn't blasting that stupid tune. So it can't be her. Can't really think of anyone else it could be. Not counting wyverns, I don't believe we've seen any drag-. Right. The one on the drone summoning map. But that’s a mascot. An actual non-corrin dragon would need an outrageous food supply to stay alive. I don't think we've seen anywhere in Fodlan quite capable of that. Yet, at least. Even if the place did exist, would a dragon really be that interested in actual conversation with a human. Probably not.

"Mr Seteth, we know that you're here!" a voice over the loudspeaker announced, grunts exiting the vehicle. Dressed in white, that doesn't explain the patch of a dragon getting stabbed over the right breast.

"Dragon Slayers." Hubert muttered, Ferdinand and Byleth's gaze swiveling over to the dark mage. Taking a deep breath, time is taken to make sure that his stone pouch was in place. Once he was certain of that, then it’s time to focus on his audience. "An elite group of mercenaries who claim to hunt dragons. Except iall their kills are related to those who own cattle and other livestock."

Okay… Puts a whole new meaning to 'Stakeout'. What? That was absolute comedy gold. Even a chuckle would do here.

"So were dealing with people who mess with farmers." Linhardt added as he grabbed hold of his boyfriend's hand. Good call. Last thing we need is someone starting the fight early. "Flayn, are you positively sure that Seteth has information on Manuela or did you just drag us here just to see what your brother was up too?"

Flayn looked away. Why do I get the feeling that this was the latter? If it is, that would make this an indirect case of helping whoever kidnapped Manuela by way of taking everyone to a meaningless lead. Thank fuck they were all teleported over and didn't have to actually drive here. That would've sucked. Beyond the point.

"Right now, we need to focus on finding Seteth." Byleth remarked, scanning over her students one more time. In any other situation, this wouldn't be a half bad group. But with everyone dressed like they're about to go swimming, that doubt is perfectly justified. "Lysithea, what are you doing here?""

Everyone's gaze swung around. Currently standing at the back, Lysithea was now in a childish lavender bathing suit sized up for someone her age. Matching inflatable floaters hung on her arms, while the edge of a swim diaper stuck out below her stone pouch. Wait. If she’s here…

“Hi.” a woman called out, Cherry walking up.


	3. Oatmeal

I don't own Fire Emblem.

* * *

_ 30 minutes ago _

Lysithea wasn't entirely sure what to make of this situation. Laying in her crib, she was inevitably going to need to get up, have breakfast and change her diaper. Maybe something else in that couple minute timeframe if it came up. An unlikely scenario. 

What she didn't need was some random redhead staring over the bars of her crib like she was going to kidnap her for the sake of doing unspeakable things. Much like what had happened to her adopted mother. Carefully reaching out to her stone pouch, she grabbed one out.

"Who are you?!" she screeched, getting an eye roll from the redhead as they lifted her up out of the crib. At least ask before just picking up the person. Trust is a two way street. Acts like this do little to actually build up that bond.

“I’m your mom’s girlfriend, Cherry.” the woman answered, the stone brought closer to her. Pushing Lysithea’s hand down, a hug followed. “You wouldn’t be in her custody if it weren’t helping her every step of the way.”

The stone falls to the floor. For once, this one doesn’t explode into dark energy and kill someone. An outcome that neither of them would want currently. Picking it back up, Cherry took 

“Any preference on your breakfast?” the bartender remarked, Lysithea looking away. So what if this woman claimed to be Manuela’s girlfriend. There was no way she would actually be a right match for her. Had to do better in order to get her blessing. Or at least, her trust.

"Oatmeal." Lysithea answered, Cherry walking out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Setting the little mage down at the table, time was taken to push the chair in. "I can get there myself, thank you very much."

Cherry didn't answer, instead heading for the kitchen proper. Muttering something under her breath, her attention turned to the pantry. While her 'child' hadn't really gave her anything in the way of what flavor she wanted, there probably wo-

Pulling the pantry open, a massive box of oatmeal toppled out. Packets ounces across the floor. No massive dry messes. Dodged that arrow quite elegantly. Didn't feel that way in Cherry’s mind, but that’s what it looks like from here.

"Do you see the flavor you want?" she remarked, Lysithea’s gaze shooting over to the packets. Scanning this unintentional mess a couple times, the little mage eventually stopped on a red packet. Whatever the heck that means, flavor-wise. Maybe cinnamon? Could even be apple. What do you mean there's more than one apple flavor? They all taste the same to me. Green apples are supposed to be sour, while the red ones are sweet. Then what is a poison apple supposed to taste like? I’m kidding about the last one, of course. A poison apple would taste awful and probably kill you. Or at the very least, be incredibly rotten. You would be running the risk of worms or who knows what else if you took a bite into a fruit like that. Beyond the point.

Picking up the rest of the packets and putting them back into the box, Cherry took the time to set the red packet off to the side. Then it’s off to find herself a suitable pot, which means another trip to the pantry. Odd place to keep your pots. Perhaps that’s where hers are? I can see that. Though, wasn’t there something that your mom kept in a weird pla- Never mind. I didn’t mean to bring up those memories.

“Manuela said you were suffering from some kind of illness. Could you tell me about it?” Cherry inquired and was treated to an eye roll from her child. Expecting her to just give you that information at the drop of a hat is unrealistic. Especially having just met her. What, Mozu? Oh. You think she’s using her prowess as a bartender to get the information out? I can see that. Kind of risky though. An unruly bar patron is nothing like a teenage girl. At all. Even when those two things do cross, it’s usually a result of underage drinking or something else of equal stupidity. Don’t drink and drive. It never works out. Ever.

“Why do you care?” Lysithea countered and watched Cherry put the pot on the stove. Turning the heat on, she got to putting whatever else goes into Fodlan oatmeal. The same as oatmeal on our side, I guess. Kind of a stupid question. Pretend I didn’t say that.

The next couple minutes consist of mixing ingredients together, waiting for it all to come together and then dishing it out into a bowl. Kind of like how a parent would do it. Or someone related to the person. Either one works here.

“I want to get to know you, that’s why.” Cherry remarked and set the bowl of oatmeal down in front of Lysithea. A spoon came right after. Childish as eating that sort of thing with her hands would probably be, the mess created wasn’t worth it. At all. “That, and my job requires me to get to know people in the first place.”

Lysithea didn’t answer. Instead, her focus was on consuming the oatmeal as fast as humanly possible. Slow down, that oatmeal will still be the-

I would say that, if not for the fact that the world around our pair had begun to spin around and remove all of the color. The last part is kind of unnecessary. Does bring us nicely to the beach and the whole 'livestock murderers'. Ranks up there on the weirdness scale, but definitely not at the top.

"Sorry to drag you into this." Byleth remarked and got a chuckle from Cherry. Probably pretty normal for a bartender. Wonder if Nina and Soliel deal with this kind of thing on a daily basis. They have too. Just the fight to get the place alone was a circus. I get that people are going to raise eyebrows when a same-sex bar opens up, but still. At least learn to coexist with your neighbors without shouting stuff. Sorry. Had to get that out of my system. Back to the beach.

“I’ve had weirder days.” Cherry remarked and focused on everyone else. “Uh… you’re a teacher, right?”

Byleth nodded. What was the next guess? Nanny for a bunch of teenage and adult messes? Wait. That was Corrin’s job. Not completely sure how the fuck she managed to do that. Between the attempted incest, royal politics and who the fuck knows what else, she kept us all together. Wait. Her birthday is coming up. I guess we can go get her something. But we can think about that later. These ‘dragonslayers’ have taken notice of our heroes and are heading their way, weapons in hand. It also signaled the arrival of everyone’s favorite merchant.

“One axe and it better be sharp!” Cherry announced, flinging a bag of gold towards Anna. Somehow, the merchant managed to catch it. In turn, an axe came flying down to the sand. Landing in the sand blade down, the bartender picked it up.


	4. Dragoning this out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We reach the end of the paralogue, only to have more questions waiting for them.

I don't own Fire Emblem.

* * *

Flayn never considered herself much of a combat person. She had been trained to an extent, yes. But to actually be out in the field, facing down people ready to kill you? That's a whole different ball game. Figuratively, of course. Nonetheless, she dug into her swimsuit's pocket and pulled out a sword of all things. I would ask where she was keeping that, but I definitely don’t want to know the answer. At all. 

“Ferdinand, Catherine and Caspar, you take the front.” Byleth barked and watched her student nod, already heading for the front lines. Then it’s over to Dorothea, Edelgard and Cherry. “Can I trust you three to follow behind?”

Without a word, the trio made their way behind the boys. Which brought her right to our stone throwers. No need for an order, they were already digging into their pouches (wherever they may be held) and got into position. Which brought the professor’s gaze to Shamir and Bernadetta.

“I’ll take the left flank.” Shamir barked and looked to Bernadetta. Bow out, the countess was already scanning the area for possible threats. Or perhaps she's looking for Wifey. But the odds of seeing her here is borderline unlikely. “If we see Seteth, we’ll tell him to get his ass over here and explain himself.”

Byleth flashed a thumbs-up, her focus turning to Mercedes and Petra. Doesn’t even get a chance to really say anything, the pair already getting into position. Though, I think that Petra would be better off near the front with the others. This works too, but what are the od-

A massive stone blasted over the sand of the beach, exploding mere inches away from the trio. What the hell was that stone? That isn't like anything we've seen anyone use before. A cluster of stones? I guess I can see that. Would be an absolute waste of resources that you only use as a last resort. Or maybe this a special single-use stone. Wait. That’s the same as a cluster of stones to an extent.

"You alright?" Petra whispered and looked at her girlfriend. Mercedes flashed a thumbs-up, attention already back to the beach ahead. Already, the front line had made contact with these supposed 'Dragon Slayers' and were giving chase. Okay, 'Dragon Slayers' is an absolutely stupid name. And I've heard some awful ones from Odin. At least he found someone to put that creative energy into. What do you mean marriage doesn't count? It totally does here. If I weren't married to you I would be out in the wilderness - living out my days as a hermit. Maybe not even wear clothes. Okay, that last one is a bit of a push. But that’s beyond the point.

"What makes you think that you can prevent us from getting at the dragon here?" one of the slayers announced, their blade met by Cherry’s axe. To be fair, if a dragon were to actually show up, they probably make quick work of all of you. Have you ever read a story where the dragon is nice and kind, only wanting to be invited to tea parties with members of royalty. Maybe even dressed to the nines in fancy dresses or suits. That last part would be stretching it, but it could make for a good children's story. Or something that they can read online for free.

"You sound like a drunk." Cherry countered and went for a kick. Knocking the grunt to the ground, she went in for one more kick for good measure. Then it’s time to get to looting. Perhaps they owed her some gold or something. Though, she runs a lesbian bar. So maybe this is a case of reaping in any profits she would be getting if she was actually there. Or something like that. “Nothing.”

Not sure what you were expecting. Most people who turn to banditry are doing it more to survive rather than the actual wealth.

“That was gold taken from a dragon!” her opponent screeched, only to find themselves facing down the blade of the axe. Maybe it would be better if you just kept your mouth shut going forward. Or else your lost gold will be the least of your worries.

Thankfully, Ferdinand and Edelgard were having a bit less trouble with their grunts. By less trouble, I mean these grunts had gotten the message of the first. Which made it a heck of a lot easier to dispose of. Bit more loaded too. If you can call a couple stacks of gold coins ‘loaded’. But I digress.

“Get them!” a grunt announced and pulled their arm back. Getting ready to fling a stone out, a gust of wind brought an end to that. The stone was launched up, shattering into a million pieces. Good for them. Though, I’m not sure where that gust came from in the first place. There’s no real wind before this. You need someone or something qu-

For a brief moment, a large green creature swooped overhead. There’s no way that’s what I think it is. Mozu, are you seeing this? Okay. Just making sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me. So that was a dragon. Was not expecting that of all things. Even if the whole dragon slayer people should've been a sign in the first place. 

"Get the dragon!" a grunt announced, their cohorts getting the message loud and clear. Made it kind of easy to snipe a couple with stones and arrows.

"I guess I stand corrected." Hubert muttered and found himself faced with a look from Ferdinand. To be fair, most people would think that dragons were a fabrication by way of imaginative writers and artists. Perhaps this was how they kept their kind from fading out of the annals of history. Or they were betting on everyone who knew to just die. It could happen. Before I met you and Corrin, absolutely everyone forgot that I even existed in the first place. Now, I have a pretty good grasp on who actually survived that mess and anyone who came after them. Good way to keep myself from going stir crazy, if you know what I mean. Beyond the point.

“Focus your attention on the remaining dragon slayers.” Byleth barked, charging forth with the sword of the creator at her side. More wind came down, this time focused on our professor over anyone else. Okay… this is just getting weirder. What could Byleth of all people done to get on the bad side of a dragon. Better yet, is there something she hasn’t said about her mercenary life that could involve other mythical creatures. This might be the start of something. First comes the dragons and wyverns, then comes more nastier things - goblins, unicorns, even Manticores. What do you mean unicorns aren’t nasty. Everyone claims that they aren’t, but how can we be certain? Perhaps they’re actually nasty and like to murder maidens for fun and sport. Their favorite meal could even be the hearts of young gi- Mozu, put the broom down. I was talking hypothetical. If we do see a unicorn, I’ll introduce you to them. What? No. We do not have room to take care of a unicorn, so don’t even think about it. Maybe if we find a place with a stable or something.

“Hey! Leave my girlfriend alone!” Dorothea announced, her gaze shifting to the dragon. Stone in hand, there’s no way she’s about to take them on by herself. Right? You would need to be absolutely crazy to even think of doing that. “I don’t know what she did or what got your attention on her, but she's mine!"

I can only assume that the dragon rolled their eyes, swooping down towards the beach. You've done it now, Dorothea. How the heck are you going to get out of this?

"That blade you hold is that of my mother." the dragon announced as Byleth stabbed into a grunt. Pulling the weapon out, the blade 'squirms'. Huh. I don't think I've ever seen a sword do that before. Can't be the body. Probably the dragon's shouting. "I ask you to relinquish the sword and end this charade."

Byleth stared up at the dragon. Wait. That girl in the mausoleum! Shit. Definitely not the professor’s finest moment. Nonetheless, she pulled the blade back and charged towards her opponent. Sword met massive wyrm, a large shockwave knocking both back and creating a large dust cloud.

"Byleth!" Dorothea screeched as she charged towards the dust cloud. Neither bravery or stupidity, just love. Perhaps the only force in all the world to make people do stupid things while making them its the right call. Even when it isn't.

The rest of the class were right behind, time taken to dispose of any dragon slayer stragglers that might take this as an opportunity to get a strike or two in. Even if they could, one of Lysithea’s stones was more than enough to bring a stop to that. Didn’t really help the cloud of dust. That was more a matter of waiting it out. Can't be much longer.

"I'm okay, Dorothea." the professor remarked as visibility returned to the area. Gone was the dragon, Seteth of all people taking its place. What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. I know dragons aren't really part of Crimson Flower (outside of Rhea), but this is a welcome change.
> 
> Next Time: Talking with Seteth. In hopefully less parts.


End file.
